Jumanji Memorable Quotes

Sarah Whittle : Alan, please, last time I played this
game, it ruined my life.
Alan Parrish : [laughs] It ruined your life? "In the
jungle, you must wait 'til the dice read five or
eight."
Sarah Whittle : I was a little girl, Alan. You
disappeared, and a bunch of bats surrounded me
and chased me down the street. I was afraid. I'm
sorry, Alan. No one believed me. I was all alone.
Alan Parrish : So was I. For 26 years, Sarah.

Alan Parrish : [warning Judy and Peter] You think
that mosquitos, monkeys, and lions are bad? That
is just the beginning. I've seen things you've only
seen in your nightmares. Things you can't even
imagine. Things you can't even see. There are
things that hunt you in the night. Then something
screams. Then you hear them eating, and you hope
to God that you're not dessert. Afraid? You don't
even know what afraid is. You would not last five
minutes without me

Judy Shepherd: What happened to you, you shave
with a piece of glass?
Alan Parrish : What happened to you, the Clampetts
have a yard sale? What do you want, I never
shaved before.

Judy Shepherd: [reads] "Don't be fooled, it isn't
thunder / Staying put would be a blunder."
Alan Parrish : Run! IT'S A STAMPEDE!

Young Sarah: [reads] "At night they fly, you better
run / These winged things are not much fun."

Gun salesman: [to Van Pelt, who is purchasing a
new gun] You're not a postal worker, are you?

Sarah Whittle : Alan, you wrestled an alligator for
me.
Alan Parrish : It was a crocodile. Alligators don't
have that little fringe on their hind leg.
Sarah Whittle : My mistake.

Peter Shepherd: [reads] "This will not be an easy
mission / Monkeys slow the expedition."

Peter Shepherd: [in horror] Judy!
Judy Shepherd: What?
Sarah Whittle : What happened?
Peter Shepherd: I thought I could end the game
myself. I was only ten spaces away.
Judy Shepherd: [reads] "A law of Jumanji having
been broken / You will slip back even more than
your token."
Sarah Whittle : You tried to cheat?
Peter Shepherd: No, I tried to drop the dice so
they'd land on twelve.
Sarah Whittle : Oh, okay, honey. Well, that would be
cheating.
Judy Shepherd: [in terror] Peter, your hands! Look
at your hands!
[Peter sees that he is growing monkey fur on his
hands as a punishment]

Peter Shepherd: [reads] "Need a hand? Well, you
just wait / We'll help you out... we each have
eight."
[Spiders appear]

Judy Shepherd: [reads] "There is a lesson you will
learn / Sometimes you must go back a turn."

Alan Parrish : [reads] "Beware of the ground for
which you stand / The floor is quicker than the
sand."
[suddenly sinks into quicksand]

Sarah Whittle : [reads] "You're almost there with
much at stake / But now the ground begins to
quake."

Sarah Whittle : I thought I lost you again.
Alan Parrish : Thanks for sticking around this time.

Sarah Whittle : [about Van Pelt] Well, have you ever
thought about just sitting down and talking about
your differences?
Alan Parrish : What are you, crazy? The man has a
gun!
Sarah Whittle : Don't ever call me crazy, Alan!
EVER! Because everyone in this town has called
me crazy ever since I told the cops that you were
sucked into a board game.

Sarah Whittle : You just saw three monkeys go by
on a motorcycle, didn't you?
Judy Shepherd: Yeah.
Sarah Whittle : Good girl.

Alan Parrish : [stuck in quicksand] Stop giving me
things that come apart!

Judy Shepherd: Alan, are you ready?
Alan Parrish : There is no "ready".

Sarah Whittle : [reads] "They grow much faster
than bamboo / Take care or they'll come after
you."
[jungle plants start to grow]

Sarah Whittle : [whispers] I knew this was going to
be a bad day.
Alan Parrish : [holds her hand] Hey, come on, you'll
be fine. We just have to keep our heads. Roll with
the punches.

Aunt Nora: Peter, take this suitcase up to the attic,
then we can all have ice cream.
[mumbles to herself]
Aunt Nora: And bourbon.

[after Alan jumps onto Carl's cruiser]
Alan Parrish : What year is it?
Carl: It was brand new.
Alan Parrish : No, what year is it?
Judy Shepherd: Uh, 1995, remember?
Alan Parrish : [in shock] '95?
Carl: You got some ID? Oh, let me guess, you
probably left it in your other Tarzan outfit, right?
Alan Parrish : [to himself] 26 years!
Carl: Are you from around here?
Alan Parrish : I was. But I've been in Jumanji.
Judy Shepherd: Indonesia. He was in the Peace
Corps.

Alan Parrish : What, are you crying? You don't cry,
all right? You keep your chin up. Come on, keep
your chin up. Crying never helped anybody do
anything, okay? You have a problem, you face it
like a man.
[Peter continues to cry and Alan realizes what he
just said]
Alan Parrish : Hey, hey, I'm sorry, okay?... Twenty-
six years buried in the deepest darkest jungle, and
I still became my father.

Alan Parrish : Play the game, Sarah.
Sarah Whittle : [whispering] Oh, no, no, no.
Alan Parrish : All right. Just give me the dice, and
you can go home. You don't have to play.
Sarah Whittle : Oh, thank you.
[Sarah gives Alan the dice but moves his hand
making Sarah roll as Alan laughs for fun]
Sarah Whittle : [loses it] Oh, my god! How could
you do that?
Alan Parrish : It's the law of the jungle, Sarah.
You'll get used to it.
Sarah Whittle : And I think of all the energy, I spent
visualizing you as a radiant spirit.

[Alan is about to play a turn on the game, and he
suddenly cracks up a joke]
Alan Parrish : Okay, it's my turn. I got it! "Colonel
Mustard in the Library with a wrench."
[chuckles]
Alan Parrish : "Clue."

Judy Shepherd: [reads] "A tiny bite can make you
itch / Make you sneeze, make you twitch."
[mosquitoes appear]
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Peter Shepherd: [reads] "His fangs are sharp, he
likes your taste / Your party better move post-
haste."
Judy Shepherd: I don't like the sound of that.
[a lion appears]

Alan Parrish : [in terror] "A hunter from the darkest
wild / Makes you feel just like a child."
Sarah Whittle : What is it?
Alan Parrish : Van Pelt.

Hunter Van Pelt: [to Alan] You miserable coward!
Come back and face me like a man!
[Alan hurls a sword at Van Pelt, which halts him...
briefly]
Hunter Van Pelt: Not good enough, Sonny Jim! I'm
coming, ready or not...

Sarah Whittle : [reads] "Every month at the quarter
moon / There'll be a monsoon in your lagoon."
[tunderclouds appear and open up]
Sarah Whittle : Well, a little rain never hurt
anybody.
Alan Parrish : Yeah, but a lot can kill you!

Exterminator: Bats aren't what I worry about in this
house anyway.
Judy Shepherd: What would you worry about?
Exterminator: Well, personally, I wouldn't want to
live in a house where someone was murdered.
Judy Shepherd: Murdered?
Exterminator: Yep, little Alan Parrish. I'd say his
father did it. There's 1,001 places he could've hid
the body in this house - especially if he chopped it
up first.

Sarah Whittle : [after Alan got chased by Van Pelt]
What is the deal with you and this guy?
Alan Parrish : He's a hunter. He kills things, that's
what he does. And right now, he wants to hunt me
and kill me, okay?
Sarah Whittle : Why you?
Alan Parrish : Why me? I don't know. Everything
about me he finds offensive. You'd think it'd be a
waste of his time. Maybe he needs something for
his wall, you know, a Parrish - something to go
between penguin and partridge.

Alan Parrish : It's me! It's me, Alan, Mom and Dad!
I'm home! I'm back!
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Alan Parrish : Listen, Carl. I know it doesn't mean
much after twenty-six years. But I'm sorry. I'm
sorry.
Carl: Sorry for what?
Alan Parrish : It's me, Alan.

Alan Parrish : So, when can you start?
Jim Shepherd: Well, actually, Martha and I were
thinking of taking a little skiing holiday in the
Canadian Rockies.
Alan Parrish /Sarah Whittle : No!
[all is silent for a brief second]
Alan Parrish : Sorry. We just...
Sarah Whittle : ...need you to get that marketing
done on the new line, pronto.
Jim Shepherd: No problem. No problem. You know,
I can probably start next week.

Sarah Whittle : [Alan grabs her] Oh, get your hands
off me!
Alan Parrish : The game is not over yet, Sarah!
Sarah Whittle : Well, it is for me! You are not in the
jungle anymore. Stop this, you don't treat people
like this!

Alan Parrish : Don't worry. I've done this before.
Once.

Judy Shepherd: [tries to roll the dice, but the game
board doesn't recognize it] Alan, it's not working.
Alan Parrish : [inspects the game board] Oh, no. It's
not your turn.
Judy Shepherd: Yeah, I rolled first and then Peter
twice because he got doubles. Now it's my turn
again.
Alan Parrish : No, look. Two of these pieces are
yours, right? What about the other pieces?
[spots his old game piece]
Alan Parrish : The elephant was mine. You're
playing the game I started in 1969. I'm going to
have to play.
[Judy offers the dice to him]
Alan Parrish : It's not my turn.
Judy Shepherd: Whose turn is it?
Alan Parrish : Sarah Whittlle.

Alan Parrish, 1969 : Oh, no. The game thinks I
rolled.
Young Sarah: What do you mean "the game
thinks"?

Sarah Whittle : You might've told us there was a
man in there with a rifle that hunts people.
Alan Parrish : Well, I didn't know, okay? It's just the
roll of the dice.
Judy Shepherd: [sarcastically] Is he the reason you
didn't wanna play?
Sarah Whittle : [scoffs] You didn't want to play
either, Mr. We-Started-Something-26-Years-Ago-
And-Now-We've-Gotta-Finish-It?

Alan Parrish, 1969 : [angry] I guess I'm not ready
for Cliffside then!
Samuel Alan Parrish : [at the door, shouts] We're
taking you there next Sunday! And I don't want to
hear another word about it!
Alan Parrish, 1969 : You won't! I'm never talking to
you again!
[Sam slams the door behind him as Alan tears up
the brochure in anger]

[after hearing drums]
Judy Shepherd: I'm going to Motel Six!
Aunt Nora: Oh, for heaven's sake!

Judy Shepherd: Listen, I know you're upset and all,
but I kind of feel we should finish the game.
Alan Parrish : We? Why do you need me?
Judy Shepherd: Well, just in case any scary stuff
comes out. Plus, there's a lion in my aunt's
bedroom. What am I supposed to do about that?
Alan Parrish : What do I look like, a Ringling
Brother?
Judy Shepherd: But she'll be home soon!
Alan Parrish : Won't she be surprised! I hope she's
not allergic to cats.

Alan Parrish : Sarah and I would like to get out of
the floor, so it's your turn, Peter.

Gun salesman: [Van Pelt hands an empty elephant
gun shell to the gun store salesman] You know
they stopped making these in 1903...?
Hunter Van Pelt: Damn. I'll be needing a
replacement weapon.

Alan Parrish : [a pelican has grabbed the game]
WHY DIDN'T YOU GRAB THE GAME, PETER?
[chases after pelican]
Sarah Whittle : [to dejected Peter] Just ignore him,
honey, he's a Libra.
[calls to Alan]
Sarah Whittle : WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
Alan Parrish : He'll head for water!

Judy Shepherd: Our parents are dead too. They
were in the Middle East negotiating peace when...
[gets nudged by Peter]

Alan Parrish : Twenty-six years ago, you played a
game with a little boy down the street. A game
with drums.
Sarah Whittle : How do you know that?
Alan Parrish : I was that little boy, Sarah.
Sarah Whittle : [hushed] Alan...
[she falls over in a faint]
Peter Shepherd: [to Alan] You killed her.

[1869, Benjamin and Caleb are burying a chest]
Benjamin: What if someone digs it up?
Caleb: [dramatically] May God have mercy on his
soul.

Billy Jessup the Bully : Just because you're a
Parrish doesn't mean you can hang around with my
girlfriend.
Alan Parrish, 1969 : We're just friends.
Billy Jessup the Bully : [chuckles] Not anymore.

Aunt Nora: Now, let's try to relax, finish our dinner,
and talk about something else.
Judy Shepherd: Well, we found out why you got this
house so cheap. 26 years ago, a kid named Alan
Parrish used to live here. Then one day, he just
disappeared, because his parents chopped him up
in little pieces and hid him in the walls.
Aunt Nora: Okay, that's it. I am sick and tired of
your lies, young lady. You're grounded.
Judy Shepherd: [leaves] Fine, there's nowhere to
go in this stupid town, anyway. And just for your
information, that wasn't a lie.

Judy Shepherd: Did you hear anything a little while
ago?
[Peter shakes his head]
Peter Shepherd: [finally speaks] Do you miss mom
and dad?
Judy Shepherd: No.
Peter Shepherd: Liar. If you don't cut that out,
they're gonna send you to a shrink.
Judy Shepherd: Where do you think they're gonna
send you if you don't start talking?

Alan Parrish : Do you know what happened to this
shoe factory?
Shoe Factory Bum : Yeah, it folded up, like
everything else in this town. It's pretty cold out
there. How about some coffee?
Alan Parrish : Why would they close Parrish Shoes?
Shoe Factory Bum : Well, when his kid ran away,
Sam put everything he had to find him - his time,
his money, everything. After a while, he stopped
coming to work. He just quit caring. I don't think
anybody loved his boy more than Sam did.

[after a big vine has swiped Carl's car]
Carl: Fine! Take it!

[Alan and Sarah have finished the game. Sam
reenters the house]
Samuel Alan Parrish : Forgot my speech notes.
[Alan runs up to Sam and hugs him]
Alan Parrish, 1969 : I'm so glad you're back.
Samuel Alan Parrish : I've only been gone 5
minutes.
Alan Parrish, 1969 : [crying] It seems like a lot
longer for me.
Samuel Alan Parrish : I thought you told me you
were never going to talk to me again.
Alan Parrish, 1969 : Whatever I said, Dad, I'm sorry.
[They hug again]
Samuel Alan Parrish : Oh, Alan, I was angry, OK?
And I'm sorry, too. Look, you don't have to go to
Cliffside if you don't want to. Let's talk it over
tomorrow. Man to man.
Alan Parrish, 1969 : How about father to son?

Hunter Van Pelt: [leveling his gun at Alan] End of
the line, Sonny Jim. Game's up. Start running.
[Sarah runs into the room]
Alan Parrish : ...No.
Hunter Van Pelt: Aren't you afraid?
Alan Parrish : I'm terrified. But my father says you
should always face what you're afraid of.
Hunter Van Pelt: [chuckles] Good lad. You're
finally acting like a man.
[aims his gun at Alan]
Hunter Van Pelt: Any last words?
[Alan looks down and notices his game piece
moving to the end of the board, after which the
word "Jumanji" appears]
Alan Parrish : [quietly] Jumanji.
Hunter Van Pelt: Eh?
Alan Parrish : [slightly louder] Jumanji.
[Van Pelt cocks his gun... ]
Sarah Whittle : [runs to shield Alan] NO!

Carl: I should've been a fireman!

Judy Shepherd: Peter hasn't spoken a word since
it happened.
Estate Agent: Oh. Oh, my. I'm so sorry. How
terribly awful.
Judy Shepherd: It's OK. We barely even knew our
parents. They were always away. Skiing, gambling
in Monte Carlo, on safari in darkest Africa. We
didn't even know if they loved us. But when the
Sheik's yacht went down, they managed to write us
a really beautiful goodbye note that was found
floating in a champagne bottle amongst the debris.
[Starts crying]
Judy Shepherd: Excuse me.
[Judy leaves the room. Camera pans away to show
that she is actually laughing at the lie she just told
the Estate Agent]
Aunt Nora: [to the Estate Agent] They were very
devoted parents. Car crash in Canada.

Sarah Whittle : Do you know what it was like to
have witnessed Alan Parrish's murder? Do you
think anyone showed up at my 14th birthday party?

[the rules of Jumanji]
Alan Parrish, 1969 : [reads] Jumanji: a game for
those who wish to find / a way to leave their world
behind. You roll the dice to move your token,
doubles get another turn, and the first one to reach
the end wins.
Judy Shepherd: [reads] Adventurers beware: do not
start until you intend to finish. The exciting
consequences of the game / will vanish only when
a player has reached Jumanji and called out its
name.

Sarah Whittle : [in 1995] Alan, they're here.
[Alan and Sarah greet Judy and Peter]
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Alan Parrish : Where's Sir Sav-A-Lot?
Carl: Monroe and Elm!
Alan Parrish : The Episcopal Church?
Carl: No, it's not a church anymore. Now it's a
Speedy Burger, or at least it was. I don't know
what's left of it. People in this town are goin'
loopy.